Book 2
The Revelations of Saint Gertrude.
Written by the Saint Herself.
Index
Chapter
1Chapter
2 Chapter
3 Chapter
4
Chapter
5 Chapter
6 Chapter
7
Chapter
8 Chapter
9 Chapter
10
Chapter
11 Chapter
12 Chapter
13
Chapter
14 Chapter
15
Chapter
16
Chapter
17 Chapter
18 Chapter
19
Chapter
20 Chapter
21 Chapter
22
Chapter
23 Chapter
24
Book
3
Chapter 1
Let the Abyss of
Uncreated Wisdom invoke the Abyss of Omnipotent
Power to praise and extol the amazing charity
which, by an an excess of Thine infinite mercy, O
most sweet God of my life and only Love of my
soul, hast led Thee through a desert, pathless,
and dry land - that is, through the many obstacles
I have placed to Thy mercy - to descend into the
valley of my miseries.
I was in the twenty
- sixth year of my age when, on the Monday before
the Feast of the Purification of Thy most chaste
Mother, in a happy hour, after Compline, at the
close of day, Thou the true Light, Who art clearer
than any light, and yet deeper than any recess,
having resolved to dissipate the obscurity of my
darkness, didst sweetly and gently commence my
conversion by appeasing the trouble which Thou
hadst excited my soul for more than a month, which
Thou didst deign to use, as I believe, to destroy
the fortress of vainglory and curiosity which my
pride had raised up within me, although I bore the
name and habit of a religious to no purpose. But
Thou didst will to use this means, that Thou
mightest thereby show me Thy salvation.
Being, then, in the middle of our
dormitory at the hour I have named, and having
inclined to an ancient religious according to our
rule, on raising my head I beheld Thee, my most
loving Love and my Redeemer, surpassing in beauty
the children of men, under the form of a youth of
sixteen years, beautiful and amiable, and
attracting my heart and my eyes by the infinite
light of Thy glory, which Thou hast the goodness
to proportion to the weakest of my nature; and
standing before me, Thou didst utter these words,
full of tenderness and sweetness: Thy salvation is at hand; why
art thou so changed by sadness? When Thou hadst spoken thus, although I
knew that I stood corporally in the place I have
mentioned, it seemed to me, nevertheless, that I
was in our choir, in the corner where I had been
accustomed to offer up my tepid prayers, and that
there I heard these words: I will save thee, I will deliver thee; fear
not; and after I had
heard them, I saw Thee place Thy right hand in
mine, as if to ratify Thy promise.
Then I
heard Thee speak thus: You have licked the dust with My enemies,
and you have sucked honey amidst thorns; but
return now to Me - I will receive you,, and
inebriate you with the torrent of My celestial
delights. When Thou hadst
said these words, my soul melted within me, and as
I desired to approach Thee, I beheld between Thee
and me (I mean, from Thy right hand to my left
hand) a hedge of such prodigious length that I
could see no end to it either before or behind,
and the top of it appeared so set with thorns that
I could find no way to return to Thee, Thou only
consolation of my soul. Then I paused to weep over
my faults and crimes, which were doubtless figured
by this hedge which divided us. In the ardor of
the desires with which I desired Thee, and in my
weakness, O charitable Father of the poor, "whose
mercies are over all Thy works", Thou didst take
me by the hand, and placed me near Thee instantly
without difficulty, so that casting my eyes upon
the precious Hand which Thou hadst extended to me
as a pledge of Thy promises, I recognized, O sweet
Jesus, Thy radiant wounds, which have made of no
effect the handwriting that was against us.
By these and other illuminations Thou
didst enlighten and soften my mind, detaching me
powerfully, by an interior unction, from an
inordinate love of literature and from all my
vanities, so that I only despised those things
which had formerly pleased me; and all that was
not Thee, O God of my heart, appeared vile to me,
and Thou alone wert pleasing to my soul. And I
praise, bless, adore and thank from my inmost, as
far as I am able, but not as far as I ought, Thy
wise mercy and Thy merciful wisdom, that Thou, my
Creator and Redeemer, didst endeavor in so loving
a manner to submit my unconquerable self -
opinionatedness to the sweetness of Thy yoke,
composing a beverage suitable to my temperament,
which has infused new light into my soul, so that
I began to run after the odor of Thy ointments,
and Thy yoke became sweet and Thy burden light,
though a little while before they had appeared
hard and almost unbearable.
Chapter 2
Hail, Salvation
and Light of my soul! May all that is in Heaven,
in earth, and in the abyss return thanks to Thee
for the extraordinary grace which has led my soul
to know and consider what passes within my heart,
of which I had no more care formerly than (if I
may speak) of what passes within my hands or feet.
But after the infusion of Thy most sweet light, I
saw many things in my heart which offended Thy
purity, and I even perceived that all within me
was in such disorder and confusion that Thou
couldst not abide therein.
Nevertheless, my
most loving Jesus, neither all these defects, nor
all my unworthiness, prevented Thee from honoring
me with Thy visible presence nearly every day that
I receive the life giving nourishment of Thy Body
and Thy Blood, although I only beheld Thee
indistinctly, as one who sees at dawn: Thou didst
endeavor by this sweet compliance to attract my
soul, so that it might be entirely united to Thee,
and that I might know Thee better and enjoy Thee
more fully. And as I disposed myself to labor for
the obtaining of these favors on the Feast of the
Annunciation of Thy Mother, when Thou didst ally
Thyself with our nature in her virginal womb -
Thou who saidest: Here
I am before I called Thee Thou didst anticipate this day by pouring
forth on me , unworthy though I am, on the Vigil
of the Feast, the sweetness of Thy benediction, at
Chapter, which was held after Matins, on account
of the Sunday following.
But since it is
not possible for me to describe in what manner
thou didst visit me, O Orient from on high, in the
bowels of Thy mercy and sweetness, permit me, O
Giver of gifts, to immolate a sacrifice of
Thanksgiving to Thee on the altar of my heart, in
order to obtain for myself and for all Thine elect
the blessedness of experiencing frequently this
union of sweetness and this sweetness of union,
which before this time was utterly unknown to me.
For when I reflect on the kind of life which I led
formerly, and which I have led since, I protest in
truth that it is pure of Thy grace, which Thou
hast given me without any merit of mine.
Thou didst give me from henceforward a
more clear knowledge of Thyself which was such
that the sweetness of Thy love led me to correct
my faults far more than the fear of the
punishments with which Thy just anger threatened
me. But I do not remember ever to have enjoyed so
great happiness at any other time as during these
days I speak, in which Thou didst invite me to the
delights of Thy royal table; and I know not for
certain whether it is Thy wise Providence which
has deprived me of them, or whether it is my
negligence which has drawn on me this
chastisement.
Chapter 3
Whilst Thou didst act so lovingly
towards me and didst not cease to draw my soul
from vanity and to Thyself, it happened on a
certain day, between the Festival of the
Resurrection and Ascension, that I went into the
court before Prime and seated myself near the
fountain; and I began to consider the beauty of
the place, which charmed me on account of the
clear and flowing stream, the vendure of the trees
which surrounded it, and the flight of the birds,
and particularly of the doves - above all, the
sweet calm - apart from all, and considering
within myself what would make this place most
useful to me, I thought that it would be the
friendship of a wise and intimate companion, who
would sweeten my solitude or render it useful to
others: When Thou, my Lord and my God, who art a
torrent of inestimable pleasure, after having
inspired me with the first impulse of this desire,
Thou didst will to be also the end of it,
inspiring me with the thought that if by continual
gratitude I return Thy graces to Thee as a stream
returns to its source; if, increasing in the love
of virtue, I put forth, like the trees, the
flowers of good works; further more, if despising
the things of the earth, I fly upward, freely,
like the birds, and thus free my senses from the
distraction of exterior things, my soul would then
be empty and my heart would be an agreeable abode
for Thee.
As I was occupied with the
recollection of these things, during the same day,
having knelt after Vespers for my evening prayer
before retiring to rest, this passage of the
Gospel came suddenly to my mind: If any man love Me, he will
keep My word and We will come to him and will make
Our abode with him. (John
14:23). At these words my worthless heart
perceived Thee, O my sweet God and my delight,
present therein. Oh, that all the waters of the
sea were changed into blood, that I might pass
them over my head, and thus wash away my exceeding
vileness, which Thou hast chosen for Thine abode!
Or that my heart might be torn this moment from my
body and cast into a furnace, that it might be
purified from its dross, and made at least less
unworthy of Thy presence! For Thou my God, since
that hour, hast treated me sometimes with
sweetness and sometimes with severity, as I have
amended or been negligent; although, to speak the
truth, when the most perfect amendment which I
could attain, even for a moment, should have
lasted my whole life, it could not merit to obtain
for me the most trifling or the least
condescending of the graces which I have ever
received from Thee, so great are my crimes and
sins. The excess of Thy goodness obliges me to
believe that the sight of my faults rather moves
Thee to fear Thou wilt see me perish than to
excite Thine anger, making me know that Thy
patience in supporting my defects until now, with
so much goodness, is greater than the sweetness
with Thou didst bear with the perfidious Judas
during Thy mortal life; and although my mind takes
pleasure in wandering after and in distracting
itself with perishable things, yet, after some
hours, after some days, and, alas, I must add,
after whole weeks, when I return into my heart, I
find Thee there, so that I cannot complain that
Thou hast left me even for a moment, from that
time until this year, which is the ninth since I
received this grace, except once, when I perceived
that Thou didst leave me for the space of eleven
days, before the Feast of St. John Baptist - and
it appeared to me that this happened on account of
a worldly conversation the Thursday preceding, and
Thy absence lasted until the Vigil of St. John,
when the Mass Ne timeas, Zacharia, is then said.
Then Thy sweetest humanity and Thy stupendous
charity moved Thee to seek me, when I had reached
such a pitch of madness, that I thought no more of
the greatness of the treasure I had lost, and for
the loss of which I do not remember to have felt
any grief at that time, nor even to have had the
desire of recovering it.
I cannot now be
sufficiently amazed at the mania which possessed
my soul, unless, indeed, it was that Thou didst
desire me to know by my own experience what St.
Bernard said: "When we fly from Thee, Thou
pursuest us; when we turn our backs, Thou dost
present Thyself before us; when we despise Thee,
Thou dost entreat us; and there is neither insult
nor contempt which hinders Thee from laboring
unweariedly to bring us to the attainment of that
which eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, and which
the heart of man cannot comprehend."
As
Thou didst bestow on me Thy first graces without
any merit on my part, so now that I have had a
second relapse, which is worse than the first, and
renders me yet more unworthy to receive Thee, Thou
hast deigned to give me the joy of Thy presence
without interruption, until this very hour: for
which be praise and thanksgiving to Thee as the
Source of all good; and that it may please Thee as
the Source of all good, and that it may please
Thou to preserve this precious grace in me, I
offer Thee that excellent prayer which Thou didst
utter with such amazing fervor when sweating blood
in agony, and which the burning love of Thy
Divinity and Thy pure devotion rendered so
efficacious, beseeching Thou, by virtue if this
most perfect prayer, to draw and unite me entirely
to Thyself, that I may remain inseparably attached
to Thee, even when I am obliged to attend to
exterior duties for the good of my neighbor, and
that afterwards I may return again to seek Thee
within me, when I have accomplished them for Thy
glory in the most perfect manner possible, even as
the wind, when agitated by a tempest, return again
to their former calm when it has ceased; that Thou
mayest find me as zealous in laboring for Thee as
Thou hast been assiduous in helping me: and that,
by this means, Thou mayest elevate me to the
highest degree of perfection to which Thy justice
can permit Thy mercy to raise so carnal and
rebellious a creature, so that Thou mayest receive
my soul into Thy hands when I breathe my last
sigh, and conduct it with a kiss of peace where
Thou dwellest, who reignest indivisibly and
eternally with the Father and the Holy Spirit for
endless ages Amen.
Chapter 4
I believe it was
during the winter of the first or second year,
when I began to receive these favors, that I met
the following prayer in a book of devotions: "O
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, grant
that I may aspire towards Thee with my whole
heart, with full desire and with thirsty soul,
seeking only Thy sweetness and Thy delights, so
that my whole mind and all that is within me may
most ardently sigh to Thee, who art our true
Beatitude. O most merciful Lord, engrave Thy
Wounds upon my heart with Thy Most Precious Blood,
that I may read in them both Thy grief and Thy
love; and that the memory of Thy Wounds may ever
remain in my inmost heart, to excite my compassion
for Thy sufferings and to increase in me Thy love.
Grant me also to despise all creatures, and that
my heart may delight in Thee alone, Amen.
Having learned this prayer with great
satisfaction, I repeated it frequently, and Thou,
Who despisest not the prayer of the humble, heard
my petitions; for soon after, during the same
winter, being in the refectory after Vespers, for
collation, I was seated near a person to whom I
had made known my secret. I relate this things for
the benefit of those who may read what I write,
because I have often perceived that the fervor of
my devotion is increased by this kind of
communication; but I know not for certain, O Lord
my God, whether it was Thy Spirit , or perhaps
human affection , made me act thus, although I
have heard from those experienced in such matters
that it is always better to reveal these secrets -
not indifferently to all, but chiefly to those who
are not only our friends, but to who we are bound
to reverence; yet, as I am doubtful, as I have
said, I commit all Thy faithful Providence, whose
spirit is sweeter than honey. If this fervor arose
from any human affection, I am even more bound to
have a profound gratitude for it, since Thou hast
deigned to unite the mire of my vileness to the
precious gold of Thy charity, so that they
precious stones of Thy grace might be encased in
me.
Being seated in the refectory, as I
said before, I thought attentively on these
things, when I perceived that the grace which I
had so long asked by the aforesaid prayer was
granted to me, unworthy though I am; for I
perceived in spirit that Thou hadst imprinted in
the depth of my heart the adorable marks of Thy
sacred Wounds, even as they are on the Body, that
Thou hadst cured my soul, in imprinting these
Wounds on it, and that to satisfy its thirst, Thou
hadst given it the precious beverage of Thy love.
But my unworthiness had not yet exhausted
the abyss of Thy mercy, for I received from Thine
overflowing liberality this remarkable gift - that
each time during the day in which I endeavored to
apply myself in spirit to those adorable wounds
saying five verses of the Psalm Benedic, anima
mea, Domino (Ps. 102), I never failed to receive
some new favor. At the first verse, "Bless the
Lord O my soul," I deposited all the rust of my
sins and my voluptuousness at the Wounds of Thy
blessed Feet; at the second verst, "Bless the
Lord, and never forget all He hath done for thee".
I washed away all the stains of carnal and
perishable pleasures in the sweet bath of Blood
and Water which Thou didst pour forth for me; at
the third verse, "Who forgiveth all thine
iniquities," I reposed my spirit in the Wound of
Thy Left Hand, even as the dove makes its nest in
the crevice of the rock; at the fourth verse, "Who
redeemeth thy life from destruction," I approached
Thy Right Hand, and took from thence all that I
needed for my perfection in virtue; and being thus
magnificently adorned, I passed to the fifth
verse, "Who satisfieth thy desire with good
things", that I might be purified from all the
defilement of sin, and have the indogence of my
wants supplied, so that I might become worthy of
Thy presence - though of myself I am utterly
unworthy - and might merit the joy of Thy chaste
embraces.
I declare also that Thou hast
freely granted my other petition - namely, that I
might read Thy grief and Thy love together. But,
alas, this did not continue long, although, I
cannot accuse Thee of having withdrawn it from me,
but I complain of having lost it myself by my own
negligence. This Thine excessive goodness and
infinite mercy has hidden from itself, and has
procured to me, without any merit on my part, the
greatest of Thy gifts - the impression of Thy
Wounds - for which be praise and honor, glory,
dominion and thanksgiving to Thee for endless
ages!
Chapter 5
Seven years
after, a little before Advent, by Thine ordinance,
Who art the Source of all good, I engaged a
certain person to say this prayer every day for me
before a crucifix, "O most Loving Lord, by Thy
pierced Heart, pierce her heart with an arrow of
Thy love, so that nothing earthly may remain
therein, and that it may be entirely filled with
the strength of Thy Divinity". Being moved, as I
believe, by these prayers, on the Sunday when they
sang the Mass Gaudete in Domino, Thy infinite
liberality having permitted me, by an excess of
mercy, to approach the Communion of Thy adorable
Body and Blood, Thou didst infuse a desire in me
when I approached It, which broke forth in these
words: "Lord, I am not worthy to receive the least
of Thy gifts: but I beseech Thee, by the merits
and prayers of all here present, to pierce my
heart with the arrow of Thy love." I soon
perceived that my words had reached Thy Divine
Heart, both by an interior effusion of grace, and
by a remarkable prodigy which Thou didst show me
in the image of Thy crucifixion.
After I
had received the Sacrament of life, and had
retired to the place where I pray, it seemed to me
that I saw a ray of light like an arrow coming
forth from the Wound of the right side of the
crucifix, which was in an elevated place, and it
continued, as it were, to advance and retire for
some time, sweetly attracting my cold affections.
But my desire was not entirely satisfied with
these things until the following Wednesday, when
after the Mass, the faithful meditated on Thy
adorable Incarnation and Annunciation, in which I
joined, however imperfectly. And, behold, Thou
camest suddenly before me, and didst imprint a
wound in my heart, saying these words: May the full tide of your
affections flow hither, so that all your pleasure,
your hope, your joy, your grief, your fear, and
every other feeling may be sustained by My love!
And I immediately
remembered that I had heard a wound should be
bathed, anointed and bandaged. But Thou didst not
teach me then in what manner I should perform
these things, for Thou didst defer it to discover
it to me more clearly in the end by means of
another person, who had accustomed the ears of her
soul to discern far more exactly and delicately
than I do the sweet mummers of Thy love.
She advised me to reflect devoutly upon
the love of Thy Heart when hanging on the Cross,
and to draw from this fountain the waters of true
devotion, to wash away all my offenses; to take
from the unction of mercy the oil of gratitude,
which the sweetness of this inestimable love has
produced as a remedy for all adversities, and to
use this efficacious charity and the strength of
this consummate love as a ligament of
justification to unite all my thoughts, words and
works, indissolubly and powerfully to Thee. May
all the deprivation of those things which my
malice and wickedness has caused be supplied
through that love whose plenitude abides in Him
Who being seated on Thy right hand, has become
"bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh!" As it
is by Him, through the operation of the Holy
Spirit, that Thou hast placed in me this noble
virtue of compassion, humility and reverence, to
enable me to speak to Thee, it is also by Him that
I present to Thee my complaint of the miseries I
endure, which are so great in number, and which
have caused me to offend Thy Divine goodness in so
many ways by my thoughts, words and actions, but
principally by the bad use which I have made of
the aforesaid graces, by my unfaithfulness, my
negligence and my irreverence. For if Thou hast
given to one so unworthy even a thread of flax as
a remembrance of Thee, I should have been bound to
respect it more than I have done all these favors.
Thou knowest, O my God, from Whom nothing
is hidden, that the reason why I have written
these things, so much against my inclination, is
that I have profited so little by Thy liberality,
that I cannot believe they were made known to me
for myself alone, since Thine eternal wisdom
cannot be deceived. Grant, then, O Giver of gifts,
Who hast so freely and unreservedly bestowed them
on me, that whoever reads these things may be
touched with tenderness and compassion for Thee:
and knowing that the zeal which Thou hast for the
salvation of souls has induced Thee to leave such
royal gems so long in my defiled heart, they may
praise, adore and extol Thy "Praise and honor,
glory and benediction be to Thee, O God the Father
from whom all things proceed," thus to supply for
my deficiencies.
Chapter 6
O unattainable
height of surpassing excellence! O profound abyss
of inscrutable wisdom! O immense extent of most
desirable charity! How powerfully and exuberantly
are the most delicious torrents of Thy most sweet
Divinity pouring themselves forth on me, vile worm
that I am, crawling in my negligences and sins,
since it is permitted to me, even while wandering
in exile, to speak, according to my poor capacity,
of the ravishing sweetness and inconceivable
delights by means of which those who unite
themselves to God become one spirit with Him;
which blessedness is poured forth on me with such
abundance, who am but a little dust. Since after
having permitted me to drink of this precious
beverage. I am still privileged with the
remembrance of it, I will use such words as I can
to describe it.
It was on that most sacred
night in which the sweet dew of Divine grace fell
on all the world, and the heavens dropped
sweetness, that my soul, exposed like a mystic
fleece in the court of the monastery, having
received in meditation this celestial rain, was
prepared to assist at this Divine Birth, in which
a Virgin brought forth a Son, true God and Man,
even as a star produces its ray. In this night, I
say, my soul beheld before it suddenly a delicate
Child, but just born, in whom were concealed the
greatest gifts of perfection. I imagined that I
received this precious deposit in my bosom with
the tenderest affection. As I possessed it within
me, it seemed to me that all at once I was changed
into the color of this Divine Infant, if we may be
permitted to call "color" that which cannot be
compared to anything visible.
Then I
understood the meaning contained in those sweet
and ineffable words: "God will (erit) be all in
all" (1Cor. 15:28); and my soul, which was
enriched by the presence of my Beloved, soon knew,
by its transports of joy, that it possessed the
presence of its Spouse. Then it received these
words with exceeding avidity, which were presented
as a delicious beverage to satisfy the ardor of
its thirst: As I am the
figure of the substance of God, My Father, in His
Divinity, so also you shall be the figure of My
substance in My Humanity, receiving into your
defiled soul the infusions of My Divinity, as the
air receives the brightness of the solar rays,
that these rays may penetrate you so intimately as
to prepare you for the closest union with Me.
O most noble
balsam of the Divinity, pouring Thyself out like
an ocean of charity, shooting forth and budding
eternally, diffusing Thyself until the end of
time! O invincible strength of the Hand of the
most High, which causes so frail a vessel, and one
which should be cast away in contempt, to receive
within it so precious a liquor! O evident
testimony of the exuberance of Divine goodness,
not to withdraw from me when I wandered in the
devious ways of sin, but rather to unite me to
itself as far as my misery would permit!
Chapter 7
The day of the
most holy Purification, as I was confined to bed
after a severe illness, and as I was troubled in
my mind about day break, fearing that my corporal
infirmity would deprive me of the Divine visit
with which I had been so often consoled, on the
same day the august mediatrix, the Mother of God,
the true Mediator, consoled me by these words:
As you never remember to
have endured more severe corporal sufferings than
those caused by your illness, know also that you
have never received from my Son more noble gifts
than those which will now be given to you, and for
which your sufferings have prepared you.
This consoled me
exceedingly; and having received the Food which
gives life, immediately after the Procession, I
thought only of God and myself; and I beheld my
soul, under the similitude of wax softened by the
fire, impressed like a seal upon the bosom of the
Lord; and immediately I beheld it surrounding and
partly drawn into this treasure house, where the
ever peaceful Trinity abides corporally in the
plenitude of the Divinity, and resplendent with
its glorious impression.
O ardent fire of
my God, which contains, produces and imprints
those living ardors which attract the humid waters
of my soul and dry up the torrents of earthly
delights, and afterwards soften my hard self-
opinionatedness which time has hardened so
exceedingly! O consuming fire, which even amid
ardent flames imparts sweetness and peace to the
soul! In Thee, and in none other, do we receive
this grace of being reformed to the image and
likeness in which we were created. O burning
furnace, in which we enjoy the true vision of
peace, which tries and purifies the gold of the
elect, and leads the soul to seek eagerly for its
highest good, even Thyself, in Thy eternal truth.
Chapter 8
On the following
Sunday, at the Mass Esto mihi, Thou didst enkindle
my spirit, and increase my desires to receive yet
more noble gifts which Thou wert about to bestow
on me; especially by these two of the first
response: "Benedicens benedicam tibi" - With blessings I will bless
thee, and the versicle of
the ninth response: "Tibi enim et semini tuo dabo
universas regiones has" - To thee and to thy seed I will give all
these countries (Gen
26:3). For then Thou did show me what were these
countries which Thy boundless liberality had
promised, O blessed country, where blessings flow
upon blessings! O field of delights, whose least
grain is capable of satisfying the hunger which
any of the elect may have for those things which
the human heart considers desirable, delightful,
amiable, sweet and joyful. While I attended to
these things as well as I could, though not as
well as I ought, the sweetness and charity of my
Savior and my God was made known to me, not as an
act of justice, for I was far from meriting such
favors, but as an act of His ineffable mercy,
fortifying me by an adoptive charity, and
rendering my extreme vileness - all unworthy,
miserable and detestable as it is - capable of
receiving a more super celestial and super
inestimable union with Him. But, my God, how have
I merited this inestimable gift from Thy justice?
Surely it proceeds from this love, which observes
no rule - this ardent love, which is not limited
by reason, and which has inebriated Thee, my
sweetest Lord, if I may dare say so - causing
Thee, as if devoid of wisdom, to unite what is so
dissimilar; or, to speak more correctly, the
tenderness of Thine essential goodness, and Thy
nature, being inwardly moved by Thy sweetest
charity (which causes Thee not only to love, but
to be all love, and the torrent of which Thou hast
turned toward the salvation of the human race),
having inclined Thee to draw from the depths of
misery the least of Thy creatures, deficient in
all good, contemptible on account of her life and
conduct, to elevate her to a share in Thy kingdom,
or rather in Thy Divine Majesty, in order by this
to confirm the confidence of all who are in the
Church - so that I have hope for all Christians,
and can believe that there will not be even one
who will abuse the gifts of God as I have done, or
give such scandal to their neighbor.
But
since we may understand the invisible things of
God, in some measure, by those which are visible -
as I have before remarked - I saw (to express as
far as I can that which is inexpressible) that the
part of His blessed Heart where the Lord received
my soul on the Feast of the Purification, under
the form of wax softened by the fire, was, as it
were, dropping a sweat, which came forth with
violence, even as if the substance of the wax was
melted by the excessive heat hidden in the depth
of this Heart. This sacred reservoir attracted
these drops to itself with surprising force,
powerfully and inexpressibly, and even so
inconceivable, that one saw evidently that love,
which could not be hindered from communicating
itself, had an absolute power in this place, where
it discovered secrets which were so great, so
hidden and so impenetrable.
O eternal
solstice! Secure mansions, containing all that is
desirable! Paradise of unchanging delights,
continual fountain of inestimable pleasures,
wherein there is eternal spring-time, soothing by
its sweet song, or rather by its delicious and
intellectual melodies, rejoicing by the odor of
its vivifying perfumes, inebriating by the
soothing sweetness of its mystic liquors, and
transforming by its sweet caresses!,
O
thrice blessed, thrice happy, and, if I may so
speak a hundred times holy, is he who allows
himself to be guided by this grace, and who,
having clean hands, and a pure heart, and spotless
lips, merits to be thus united to and incorporated
with his God! What does he not see and hear and
feel and taste? How can my stammering tongue speak
of it?
For although the Divine Mercy has
made me experience this by a particular favor,
nevertheless the obstinacy of my sins, and the
thick covering of negligence with which I am
encompassed, hinders me from fully understanding
it. For if all the science of men and Angels were
united together, it would not be capable of making
us understand, even in the least degree, the
sublime majesty of so high a subject.
Chapter 9
Soon after,
during the fast when I was confined to bed for the
second time by a severe sickness, and the other
sisters were occupied elsewhere, so that I was
left alone one morning, the Lord, who never
abandons those who are deprived of human
consolation, came to verify these words of the
prophets: "I am with him in tribulation." (Ps.
90:15). He turned His right Side towards me, and
there came forth from His blessed and inmost Heart
a pure and solid stream, like crystal, and on His
Breast there was a precious ornament, like a
necklace, which seemed to alternate between gold
and rose color. Then Our Lord said to me: This sickness which you
suffer will sanctify your soul, so that each time
you go forth from Me, like the stream which I have
shown you, for the good of your neighbor, either
in thought, word, or act, even then, as the purity
of the crystal renders the color of the gold and
the rose more brilliant, so the cooperation of the
precious gold of My Divinity, and the rose of the
perfect patience of My Humanity, will render your
works always agreeable to me by the purity of your
intention.
O
greatness of this little bit of dust, which this
celestial Lover has taken from the mire to encase
His jewels! O excellence of this little flower,
which the ray of the true Sun Himself has drawn
from the marsh, to make it beautiful as Himself! O
happiness of this blessed and favored soul, which
the Lord of glory has esteemed so highly, that
though He can create whatever He pleases, He
attracts it so sweetly and beautifies it by
uniting it to Himself! This soul, I say, though it
is adorned with His image and likeness, is,
nevertheless, as far from Him as the creature from
the Creator. Therefore is he blessed a thousand
times who has received the grace to persevere in
this state, to which, alas, I fear I shall never
attain, even for a single moment.
O gift
surpassing all gifts, to be satisfied with the
sweetness of the Divinity, and to be
superabundantly inebriated with Divine charity in
the cellar where it is reserved, so that our feet
are no longer free to roam to any place where its
Divine fragrance is not perceived: unless, indeed,
they are led forth by charity, when they pour out
on others the wealth of the Divine faithfulness,
and enable them to partake if their surpassing
sweetness.
I hope, my Lord and my God,
that Thou, in Thy most benign love, wilt grant me
this grace, which by Thine almighty power Thou
canst impart to all Thine elect. It is true Thine
inscrutable wisdom alone knows how Thou canst do
this, notwithstanding my unworthiness. But I honor
and I glorify Thy wise and merciful almightiness;
I glorify and magnify Thy almighty and all -
merciful wisdom; I praise and adore Thy wise and
omnipotent mercy; I bless and thank Thy omnipotent
and wise kindness, O my God, because Thou hast
bestowed on me graces so far beyond my deserts,
notwithstanding all the obstacles I opposed to Thy
bounty.
Chapter 10
I considered it
so unsuitable for me to publish these writings,
that my conscience would not consent to do so;
therefore I deferred doing it until the Feast of
the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. On that day,
having determined before Mass to apply myself to
other occupations, the Lord conquered the
repugnance of my reason by these words: Be assured that you will not
be released from the prison of the flesh until you
have paid this debt which still binds you. And as I reflected that I had
already employed the gifts of God for the
advancement of my neighbor - if not by my writing,
at least by my words - He brought forward these
words which I had heard used at the preceding
Matins: If the Lord had
willed to teach His doctrine only to those who
were present, He would have taught by word only,
not by writing. But now they are written for the
salvation of many. He
added further: I desire
your writings to be an indisputable evidence of My
Divine goodness in these latter times, in which I
purpose to do good to many.
These words having depressed
me, I began to consider within myself how
difficult and even impossible it would be to find
thoughts and words capable of explaining these
things to the human intellect without scandal. But
the Lord delivered me from this pusillanimity by
pouring out on my soul an abundant rain, the
impetuous fall of which weighed me down like a
young and tender plant - vile creature that I am!
- instead of watering me gently, so as to make me
increase in perfection; and I could find no profit
from it, except from some weighty words, the sense
of which I was unable perfectly to penetrate.
Therefore, finding myself still more depressed, I
inquired what would be the advantage of these
writings, and Thy goodness, my God, solaced my
trouble with Thy usual sweetness, refreshing my
soul by this reply: Since this deluge appears useless to you,
behold, I will now approach you to My Divine
Heart, that your words may be gentle and sweet,
according to the capabilities of your mind. Which promise, my Lord and my
God, Thou didst most faithfully fulfill. And for
four days, at a convenient hour each morning, Thou
didst suggest with so much clearness and sweetness
what I composed, that I have been able to write it
without difficulty and without reflection, even as
if I had learned it by heart long before - with
this limitation, that when I had written a
sufficient quantity each day, it has not been
possible for me, although I applied my whole mind
to it, to find a single word to express the things
which on the following day I could write freely:
thus instructing and refraining my impetuosity as
the Scripture teaches: "Let none so apply himself
to action as to omit contemplation." Thus art Thou
jealous for my welfare, and whilst Thou givest me
leisure to enjoy the embraces of Rachel, Thou dost
not permit me to be deprived of the glorious
fruitfulness of Lia. May Thy wise love deign to
accomplish in me these two things!
Chapter 11
Since, Lord, Thou
hast so often diversified the salutary taste of
Thy presence, and that Thou hast prevented my
baseness so assiduously with the sweetness of Thy
benedictions, especially when I was admitted to
the participation of Thy adorable Body and Blood -
since I can make no return to Thee for this, even
by a single thanksgiving for a thousand favors - I
remit the thanksgivings which I owe to that
eternal, infinite and incommunicable gratitude by
which, O ever - peaceful and resplendent Trinity,
Thou dost fully satisfy all our debts of Thyself,
by Thyself and in Thyself. And I, who am but dust,
offer my thanksgivings to Thee, through Him who
stands by Thee, clothed with my substance, through
the operation of the Holy Spirit, for all the
benefits which I have received from Thee,
principally for having instructed my ignorance by
so evident a sign, that Thou hast shown me clearly
how I corrupt the purity of Thy gifts.
On
one occasion, when I assisted at a Mass at which I
was to communicate, I perceived that Thou wert
present, by an admirable condescension, and that
Thou didst use this similitude to instruct me, by
appearing as if parched with thirst, and desiring
that I should give Thee to drink; and while I was
troubled thereat, and could not even force a tear
from my eyes, I beheld Thee presenting me with a
golden cup with Thine own Hand. When I took it, my
heart immediately melted into a torrent of fervent
tears. Then I saw a certain despicable creature at
my right hand, who was secretly putting something
bitter and venomous into it, and inciting me to
put it in this cup. But as this was followed by an
instant motion of vainglory, I easily understood
that it was a stratagem of that ancient enemy, who
turns against us all his rage when he sees us
enriched with Thy gifts.
But thanks be to
Thy faithfulness, my God, thanks to Thy
protection, Who art one and true God, Trinity in
Unity, Unity in Trinity, Who permittest not that
we should be tempted beyond our strength, although
Thou sometimes permittest us to be tempted for our
advancement in virtue; and, when Thou seest that
we confide in Thee, Thou undertakest our cause,
and, with boundless generosity, dost win the
victory for us, and then allow us the merit of it,
if only we will to do right - and Thou dost
procure us this advantage to increase our merit,
that, as Thou dost not permit our enemy to
interfere with our free will so neither dost Thou
interfere with it Thyself in any way.
Thou
didst teach me also, on another occasion, that to
yield easily to the enemy makes him insolent in
attacking us again on the same subject; therefore,
Thy justice requires that Thou shouldst sometimes
conceal the greatness of Thy mercy in pardoning
our negligence, because we resist evil more
certainly, more usefully, more efficaciously, and
more happily, when we resist it with all our
might.
Chapter 12
I render Thee
thanks also for another revelation, which was no
less advantageous and acceptable to me, by which I
was shown with what benign patience Thou dost bear
our defects, that, by correcting us thus, Thou
mightest insure our happiness. For one evening,
having allowed myself to give way to anger, and on
the following morning, before break of day,
finding myself disposed to pray, Thou didst
present Thyself to me under so strange a form,
that it seemed to me on beholding Thee that Thou
wert not only deprived of all kind of good, but
even of strength. Then, my conscience being
touched for my past fault, I began to reflect with
grief how improper a thing it had been for me to
trouble the Supreme Author of peace and purity by
my ill- regulated passion. I thought it would have
been better that Thou shouldst have been absent
from me when I failed to repel Thine enemy, while
he solicited me to do that which was so contrary
to Thy Will.
Thou didst apply this to me:
Even as a poor invalid
who has been brought out to enjoy the sunshine by
the assistance of others, with much difficulty,
when he sees a storm coming on has no other
consolation than the hope of soon seeing fine
weather again - thus, under the influence of your
love, I prefer dwelling with you in all the
temptests of vice, hoping to behold the calm if
your amendment, and to see you enter the port of
humility.
Since
my tongue is too feeble to explain the abundance
of the graces which thou didst pour forth on me
during the three entire days in which this
apparition lasted, permit me, O my God, that my
heart may supply for its weakness, and teach me
how to render a thanksgiving of gratitude for the
depths of the humility to which Thy love then
abased itself for this charity, so amazing and so
tender, which Thou hast for us.
Chapter 13
I confess also
before Thy goodness, God of mercy, that Thou didst
use another means to animate my languor; and
though at first Thou didst commence Thy work by
the intervention of a third person, Thou didst
will nevertheless to consummate it Thyself with
mercy and condescension. This person proposed to
my consideration the Gospel which relates that
after Thy Birth Thou wert found b shepherds; she
added that Thou hadst made known to her that if I
would truly find Thee, I must watch over my
senses, as the shepherds over their flocks. I had
some difficulty in believing this, and there
seemed to me but little reason in it, knowing that
Thou hadst given other capabilities to my soul
than those serving Thee as a hired shepherd would
his master; so that from morning until evening, I
was full of discouragement. After Compline, as I
was in the place where I pray, Thou didst solace
my grief by this comparison: If a bride prepare food sometimes for her
bridegroom's falcons, she will not on this account
be deprived of his caresses, so if I occupied
myself for love of Thee in watching over my
affections and senses, I should not on this
account be deprived of the sweetness of Thy
graces.
Thou
didst give me for this purpose the spirit of fear,
under the figure of a green rod, in order that,
remaining always with Thee, and never leaving the
shelter of Thine embraces even for a single
moment, I might without danger extend my care to
all the windings and ladyrinths in which human
affection so often loses itself. Thou didst add
that when anything presented itself to my mind
which sought to turn my thoughts to the right, as
to joy or hope; to the left, as to fear, grief, or
anger - that I should threaten them with the rod
of fear, and that afterwards, by the restraining
of my senses, I should immolate this affection
like a newborn lamb, by the fire of my heart, and
offer it to Thee as a feast.
But, alas,
how many times when the opportunity has come have
I not snatched, as if from Thy very lips, by a
malicious lightness, or by a passionate word or
action, that which I had given Thee, and presented
it to Thine enemy! And even then Thou hast looked
on me with tenderness and sweetness, as if Thou
hadst not perceived my infidelity, and thereby
Thou hast often excited transports of sweetness in
my soul, which have served to make me correct and
watch over myself far more than the threats and
fear of Thine anger.
Chapter 14
The Sunday before
Lent, while they chanted the Esto mihi, Thou didst
make me understand by the words of this Introit, O
only Object of my love, that, being wearied by the
persecutions and outrages which so many persons
inflict on Thee, Thou didst ask for my heart, that
Thou mightest repose therein. Therefore each time
that I entered during these three days, Thou didst
appear to me as if lying down there like a person
exhausted by extreme languor, and I could find no
greater solace of Thy woe during this period than
to pray, keep silence, and perform other exercises
of mortification in Thine honor for the conversion
of worldly persons.
Thy grace makes me
know further, by frequent revelations, that the
soul, dwelling in the body of frail humanity, is
darkened in the same manner as a person who stands
in a narrow space, and is surrounded on all sides
by a vapor exhaling from a cooking vessel. And
when the body is afflicted by any evil, the part
which suffers is to the soul as a beam from the
sun which enlightens the air, and from which it
receives marvelous clearness; therefore, the
heavier one's sufferings are, the purer is the
light the soul receives. But afflictions and
trials of the heart in humility, patience and
other virtues impart the greatest luster to the
soul, as they touch it more keenly, efficaciously
and intimately; works of charity, above all, give
it an admirable serenity and brightness.
Thanks be to Thee, O Lover of men, that
Thou hast sometimes led me by this means to
patience! But alas! - and a thousand times, alas!
- how seldom have I listened to Thy counsels, or
rather, how seldom have I done what I ought to
have done! O Lord, Thou knowest the grief, the
shame and the dejection of my soul for this; Thou
knowest the desire of my heart to apply to Thee
for my deficiencies.
On another occasion,
when I was about to communicate at Mass, being
filled abundantly with Thy Spirit, and seeking
within myself what I could do in return for so
great a favor, Thou didst propose to me, as a
Master full of wisdom, these words of the Apostle:
"For I wished myself to be an anathema from
Christ, for my brethren...." (Rom, 9:3). And
although Thou hadst taught me before that the soul
had its abode in the heart, Thou didst make me
know also that it resided in the brain; and this
truth, of which I had been ignorant until then,
was confirmed to me afterwards by a testimony of
Scripture. Thou didst teach me also, that the
great perfection of a soul consists in
relinquishing the pleasure which it finds in the
affections, in order to occupy itself, for the
love of Thee, in watching over its exterior
senses, and in laboring in works of charity for
the salvation of its neighbor.
Chapter 15
The day of Thine
adorable Nativity, I took Thee from the crib,
wrapped in swathing clothes, like a little infant
newly born and placed Thee in my heart, that I
might make a bouquet of myrrh of all Thy infant
sufferings and incommodities, to place it in my
breast, that I might drink therefrom a libation of
Divine sweetness. but as I considered this the
greatest favor Thou couldst bestow on me, Thou,
Who when we least expect it, accompaniest Thy
first graces by others yet more precious, didst
will to diversity the abundance of Thy graces in
this manner.
For on the same day, the
following year, as the Mass Dominus dixit was
said, I received Thee, coming forth from the
virginal womb of Thy Mother as a feeble and
delicate Infant, and carried Thee for some time in
my arms. It seemed to me that the compassion which
I had shown before the Feast, by some special
prayers for a person in affliction, had obtained
this favor for me; but, alas, after having
obtained it, I did not receive it with the
devotion I ought! I know not if it were an act of
Thy justice, or a chastisement of my negligence; I
hope, never the less that Thy justice, by the
intermission of Thy mercy has so ordered it, to
make me known more clearly the greatness of my
unworthiness, and to make me less negligent in
putting away idle thoughts. But it is for Thee, O
Lord, to say to which of these causes I ought to
refer this effect.
Nevertheless, as I
gathered up all my strength to make a last effort
to gain Thee by my loving caresses, I perceived
that all this was of no avail, until I commenced
praying for sinners, for the souls in Purgatory,
or for those who were in any affliction, when I
knew that I was heard; but still more one evening,
when I formed the resolution of commencing the
prayers which I say for the deceased offering them
for those most beloved by Thee, with the Collect,
Omnipotens, sempiterne Deus, cui nunquam sine spe,
instead of commencing, as I had been accustomed to
do, by praying for those related to me, with the
Collect, Deus, qui nos patrem et matrem, and it
seemed to me that this change was very pleasing to
Thee.
I believed also that it pleased Thee
much, when I chanted as loud as I could, and at
each note fixed my intention on Thee, as one fixes
his eye on his book, who has not yet learned the
chant perfectly. Still I know that I have been
negligent in this and in other things which
concerns Thy glory; and I confess it to Thee, the
Father of mercy, asking pardon through the bitter
Passion of Thy blameless Son Jesus Christ, in whom
Thou didst declare Thyself well pleased, saying:
"This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well
pleased" (Matt. 17:5); through Him I ask the grace
of amendment and atonement for my negligences.
Chapter 16
On the Feast of
the Purification, at the Procession, when Thou,
our Salvation and Redemption, wert borne as an
offering to the Temple, at the Antiphon, Cum
inducerent, Thy Virgin Mother told me to give her,
her Child, the blessed Fruit of her womb; and she
demanded Thee again from me with a severe
countenance, as if she was not pleased with my
care of Thee, Who art the honor and joy of her
spotless virginity.
Then, remembering the
grace which she had received from Thee of being
the hope of the despairing and the reconciler of
sinners, I exclaimed: "O Mother of mercy, was not
the Fount of forgiveness given to thee as thy Son,
that thou mightest obtain all grace for us from
Him, and that the multitude of our sins and our
deficiencies might be covered by thy abundant
charity?" The She looked on me more with a serene
and loving countenance so that I might know that
if my fault obliged her to appear severe to me,
she was, nevertheless, full of the most consummate
tenderness, and penetrated to her inmost heart
with the most sweet and Divine charity. I soon
beheld the tokens of it, since a few words removed
her anger, and her sweetness shone forth
resplendently. May this abundant tenderness of Thy
Mother intercede with Thee, and obtain pardon for
my faults!
And I know, by a testimony
clearer than light itself, that no obstacle could
have arrested the torrent of Thy sweetness, when,
on the Feast of Thy Nativity, the preceding year.
Thou didst grant me a yet greater favor, though in
a similar manner, s if I had merited it by the
fervor of my zeal the year before, when, far from
meriting a new grace, I was justly worthy of
chastisment for having lost the first.
For
when these words of the Gospel were read, "Peperit
filium suum primogenitum, Thy spotless Mother
presented Thee to me with her pure hands. And
Thou, O amiable Infant, didst endeavor to embrace
me with all Thy might; I, though utterly unworthy,
received Thee, and Thou didst put Thy little arms
around my neck, exhaling on me from Thy mouth a
breath so full of sweetness, that I was nourished
and abundantly satisfied therewith. For this, O
Lord my God, may my soul and all that is within me
adore and bless Thy Holy Name! And when Thy
Blessed Mother sought to wrap Thee in Thy swathing
clothes, I desired to be wrapped up in them also,
for fear of losing the company of One whose smiles
and favors exceed the sweetness of honey and the
honeycomb. Thou wert then clothed in the fairest
robe of innocence, and cinctured with the golden
cincture of love; and I felt that if I wished to
be so clothed and so cintured, I should seek to
have more purity of heart, and to abound more in
love.
Chapter 17
I give Thee
thanks my Creator of the firmament, Fashioner of
its celestial lights and of the flowers of spring,
because, although Thou needest now my goods, Thou,
for my instruction, didst order me to clothe Thee
with the garments of an infant on the day of Thy
Purification, before Thou wert carried into the
Temple. And this is the manner in which Thou dost
desire me to draw from the hidden treasures of Thy
love - namely to extol with all my powers the
innocence of Thy Holy Humanity, but with such
faithfulness and devotion, that if I could receive
in my own person all the glory due to Thy blessed
innocence, I would nevertheless, freely renounce
it, inorder to enhance thereby the praise of Thy
innocence. It seemed to me that this pure
intention clothed Thee with a white robe, such as
infants wear; Thou whose omnipotence "calleth
those things that are not as those that are".
(Rom. 4:17).
So, also, when I endeavored
to penetrate devoutly into the abyss of Thy
humility, I saw thee clothed in a green tunic, as
a sign that Thy grace is ever flourishing, and
that it never withers in the valley of humility.
Then contemplating the fire of love, which has
made Thee produce all which Thou hast produced, I
beheld Thee clothed in purple, to indicate that
charity is truly a royal mantle, without which
none can enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
As I admire the same virtues in Thy
glorious Mother, she appeared to me clothed in the
same manner, and as this Blessed Virgin flourishes
like a rose without thorns, and a lily without
spot, being adorned with the flowers of all
virtues, I besought this most benign Mother to
intercede continually with Thee for our
necessities.
Chapter 18
One day, after I
had washed my hands, and was standing round the
table with the community, perplexed in mind,
considering the brightness of the sun, which was
in full strength, I said within myself: "If the
Lord, Who has created the sun, and Whose beauty is
said to be the admiration of the sun and moon - if
He, who is a consuming fire, is as truly in me as
He shows Himself frequently before me, how is it
possible that my heart continues like ice, and
that I lead so evil a life?"
Then Thou,
whose words, though always sweet, were now much
sweeter, and therefore the more necessary for my
heart in its state of agitation - Thou, I say,
didst reply thus to me: In what should My omnipotence be extolled,
if I could not contain Myself within Myself
whatever I am, so that I am only felt or seen as
is most suitable for the time, place and persons?
For since the creation of Heaven and earth I have
worked for the redemption of all, more by the
wisdom of My benignity than by the power of My
Majesty. And this benignity of wisdom shines most
in My tolerance towards the imperfect, leading
them, even by their own free will, into the way of
perfection. Seeing also,
on a certain feast day, that many who had
recommended themselves to my prayers were going to
Communion, and that I was deprived of It by
sickness - or rather, prevented on account of my
unworthiness - and reflecting in my mind on the
numerous benefits I had received from God, I began
to fear the wind of vainglory, which might dry up
the waters of Divine grace; and I desired to have
some reflection in my mind that might prevent its
recurrence. Then Thy paternal goodness instructed
me thus; that I should consider Thy affection
toward me under the similitude of a father of a
family, who being delighted at seeing so many
beautiful children receiving admiration from his
neighbors and servants, had, amongst others, a
little one who was not so beautiful as his
companions, whom he, nevertheless, often took in
his bosom, moved by paternal tenderness, and
consoled him by gentle words and kind gifts; and
Thou didst add, that if I had this humble esteem
of myself, so as to believe myself the most
imperfect of all, the torrents of Thy celestial
sweetness would never cease to flow in my soul.
I give thanks to Thee, most loving God,
Lover of men by the merit of the reciprocal
gratitude of the adorable Trinity, for this and
for many other salutary instructions by which Thou
hast instructed my ignorance so many times as the
best of masters - I offer my sighs to Thee through
the bitter Passion of Jesus Christ Thy Son; I
offer to Thee His pains and tears and dolors, in
expiation of all the negligences by which I have
so often stifled the Spirit of God in my heart. I
beseech Thee, in union with the efficacious prayer
of this Thy beloved Son, and by the grace of the
Holy Ghost, to amend my life, and to supply for my
deficiencies. This I beseech Thee to grant by that
love which arrested Thine anger when Thy only Son,
the object of Thy complacence, was reputed a
criminal.
Chapter 19
I give thanks to
Thy loving mercy and to Thy merciful love, most
loving Lord, for the revelations by which Thy
goodness satisfied my weak and wavering soul when
I so ardently desired to be released from the
chains of the flesh: not that I might suffer less,
but that I might release Thy goodness from the
debt which Thy exceeding love has undertaken for
my salvation, although Thy Divine omnipotence and
eternal wisdom were not obliged to grant me this
favor - but Thou didst bestow it on my
unworthiness and ingratitude of Thy superabounding
liberality.
When, therefore, I desired to
be dissolved, Thou, my God, Who art the honor and
glory of Heaven, didst appear to me, descending
from the royal throne of Thy majesty, and
approaching to sinners by a most obliging and
favorable condescension; and then certain streams
of precious liquor seemed to flow through Heaven,
before which all Saints prostrated themselves in
thanksgiving; and having satisfied their thirst
with joy in this torrent of delights, broke forth
in canticles of praise for all Thy mercy towards
sinners. Whilst these things happened I heard
these words: Consider
how agreeable this concert of praise is, not only
to My ears, but even to My most loving Heart; and
beware for the future how you desire so
importunately to be separated from the body,
merely for the sake of being delivered from the
flesh, in which I pour so forth so freely the
gifts of My grace; for the more unworthy they are
to whom I condescend, the more I merit to be
glorified for it by all creatures.
As thou didst give this
consolation at the moment when I approached Thy
life giving Sacrament, as soon as I had
recollected myself and formed my intention, as I
was bound to do, Thou didst make known to me
further in what manner, and with what intention,
each one should approach to unite themselves to
Thy sacred Body and Blood; so that, even if this
Sacrament served for our condemnation, were it
possible, the love and of Thy glory would cause us
to think nothing of this, provided that thereby
Thy mercy shone forth still more in not refusing
to give Thyself to those who are so utterly
unworthy. Then I inquired concerning those who,
from a consciousness of their unworthiness,
abstain from Communion, fearing to profane by a
presumptuous irreverence the sanctity of this
Sacrament; and I received this blessed answer from
Thee: He who
communicates from a pure desire of My glory, as I
have said, can never communicate with irreverence.
For which may eternal
praise and glory be given to Thee for endless
ages!
Chapter 20
May my heart and
my soul, with all the substance of my flesh, all
my senses, and all the powers of my body and my
mind, with all creatures, praise Thee and give
Thee thanks, O sweetest Lord, faithful Lover of
mankind, for Thy signal mercy, which has not only
dissimulated the utterly unworthy preparation with
which I have not feared to approached the super
celestial banquet of Thy most sacred Body and
Blood, but has added this gift to me, the most
utterly vile and perfectly useless of Thy
creatures. First, of having been assured by Thy
grace that all who desire to approach this
Sacrament, and who are restrained by fear from a
timid conscience, who come to me, who am the least
of Thy servants, led by humility, to receive this
Sacrament with fruit to eternal life. Thou hast
also added that Thou wilt not permit anyone whom
Thy justice deems unworthy to abase themselves to
ask counsel of me, O Supreme Ruler, Who, through
Thou dwellest on high, regardest the humble. (CF.
Ps. 112:5).
What prompted Thy mercy, when
Thou sawest me approach so often unworthily, to
suspend Thy judgment, and not to inflict on me the
punishment I deserve? Thou willest to make others
worthy by the virtue of humility; and though Thou
couldst do so more effectually without my
assistance, Thy love, looking upon my misery, made
Thee effect this through me, so that thus I may be
a sharer in the merits of those who, through my
admonitions, enjoy the fruit of salvation.
But, alas this is not the only remedy
which my misery requires; nor will one remedy
satisfy Thy mercy, O most kind Lord! For
(secondly) Thou didst assure my unworthiness that
Thou wouldst consider whoever should expose their
defects to me, with a contrite and humble heart,
guilty or innocent, as I had declared them more or
less guilty, and from henceforward Thy grace would
so sustain them that They should never again be in
such danger from their faults as they had been
previously. And thus Thou hast relieved my
indigence, which is so great that I have never
even for a single day corrected myself as I ought,
and yet Thou dost permit me to participate in the
victories of others, when Thou, my good God, dost
condescend, to give the grace of victory to Thine
other more deserving friends through my words.
Thirdly. The abundant liberality of Thy
grace has enriched my poverty of merit by this
assurance - that whenever I promise a favor to
anyone, or the pardon of any fault, through
confidence in Thy mercy, Thy benign love will
ratify my words and execute my promise as
faithfully as if it has been confirmed by an oath
of the Eternal Truth. Thou didst add further, that
if anyone found that the salutary effects of my
promises were deferred, they should continually
remind Thee that I had promised this grace from
Thee. Thus dost Thou provide for my salvation
according to the words of the Gospel: "With what
measure you mete, it shall be measured to you
again" (Matt. 7:2). And as, I alas, continually
fall into the greatest faults, Thou desirest by
this means to remit the punishment I deserve.
Fourthly. To solace my miseries, Thou hast
assured me, amongst other things, that whoever
recommend themselves humbly and devoutly to my
prayers will certainly obtain all the fruits which
they hoped to obtain by the intercession of any
other person: in which Thou hast provided for my
negligence, which prevents me from satisfying, not
only for the prayers which are made gratuitously
for the Church, but also for those of obligation;
and Thou hast found the means of applying the
fruit of them to me, according to the words of
David "My prayers shall be turned into my bosom"
(Ps 34: 13); making me participate in the merits
of Thine elect, who shall ask these graces of Thee
through my intermission, although I am utterly
unworthy of it, and granting me a share in them to
supply for my indigence.
Fifthly. Thou
hast further promised my salvation by conferring
these special favors on me, that whom ever with a
good will, a right intention and a humble
confidence, shall come to speak to me upon their
spiritual advancement, should never leave me
without being edified or receiving spiritual
consolation. In this also Thou hast most suitably
supplied for my indigence: for alas, I have wasted
the talent Thou didst so liberally bestow on me by
my useless words, but now I may gain some merit by
what I confide to others!
Sixthly. Thy
liberality, O Lord, has bestowed on me thus gift,
more necessary than all - certify to me that
whoever, in their charity, will either pray for me
- the vilest of God's creatures - or perform any
good works, either for the amendment of my life,
or the forgiveness of the sins of my youth, or the
correction of my iniquity and malice, shall
receive this reward from Thy abundant liberality -
namely, that they shall nit die until, by Thy
grace, their lives have been pleasing to Thee; and
that Thou wilt dwell in their souls by a special
friendship and intimacy.
And this Thou
hast granted of Thy paternal tenderness, to assist
my extreme indigence, as Thou knowest how many
great corrections are needed for my innumerable
sins and negligences. Thus, as Thy loving mercy
will not permit me to perish, and, on the contrary
by reason of justice, will not permit me to be
saved with all my imperfections, Thou hast
provided for me by means of the gains and merits
of others.
Thou hast added to all these
favors, my kind God, by an abundant liberality -
that if anyone, after my death, considering with
how much familiarity Thou didst communicate with
my unworthiness while in this life, should
recommend themselves humbly to my prayers, Thou
wouldst hear them as willingly as if they invoked
the intercession of any other person, provided
that they had the intention of repairing their
faults and negligences, and that they humbly and
devoutly thanked Thee for five special benefits
which Thou didst grant me.
First. For the
love by which Thou didst freely choose me from all
eternity, and which I declare to be the greatest
of all the benefits which Thou hast bestowed on
me: for as Thou wert not ignorant of, or rather
didst foresee, the corrupt life which I should
lead, the excess of my ingratitude, and how I
should abuse Thy gifts, so that I deserve to have
been born a pagan, and not an enlightened human
being - Thy mercy, which infinitely exceeds our
crimes, has chosen me, in preference to many other
Christians, to bear the holy character of a
religious.
Secondly. Because Thou hast
drawn me blessedly to Thee; and I acknowledged it
to be an effect of the clemency and charity which
is natural to Thee, Who hast won, by the
attractions of Thy caresses, this rebellious and
stubborn heart, which deserves to be loaded with
fetters and chains; and it has seemed as if Thou
hadst found in me the faithful companion of Thy
love, and that Thy greatest pleasure was to be
united to me.
Thirdly. Because Thou hast
united me so intimately to Thee; and I declare, as
I am bound, that I am indebted for this only to
Thy signal liberality, as if the number of the
just was not great enough to receive the immense
abundance of Thy mercies, not that I had better
dispositions than others, but, on the contrary,
that Thy charity might be the more signalized in
me thereby.
Fourthly. That Thou hast taken
pleasure and delight in dwelling in my soul; and
this, if I may so speak, proceeds from the ardor
of Thy love, which has deigned to testify, even by
words, that it is the joy of Thy all - powerful
wisdom to stop to one so dissimilar to Thee, and
so utterly ungrateful.
Fifthly. That it
has pleased Thee to accomplish Thy work happily in
me; and, it is a favor which I have hoped with
humble confidence from the tenderness of Thy most
benign charity, and for which I adore Thee with
gratitude, declaring, O sovereign, true, and only
treasure of my soul, that I have in no way
contributed to it by my merits, but that it is a
true gift of Thy liberality.
All these
benefits coming from Thine immense charity, and
being so far above my nothingness, I am unable to
give thanks for them worthily; but Thou has
further assisted my misery, in exciting others, by
the most condescending promises, to render
thanksgivings to Thee, the merit of which may
supply my deficiencies. For which may all
creatures in Heaven, on earth and under the earth,
glorify Thee and thank Thee continually!
Chapter 21
Among other
things, it has pleased Thee, my Lord in the
abundance of Thine inestimable charity, to ratify
and confirm these favors. On a certain day, as I
meditated on and compared Thy mercy and my malice,
I was filled with extreme joy, even to such
presumption as to complain that Thou hadst not
assured me of these favors by solemn contrast,
when Thy sweet and affable charity agreed to
satisfy my objections saying to me Do not complain of this;
approach and receive the confirmation of My
promises. And immediately
Thou didst open to me, with both hands, the ark of
Thy Divine love and infallible truth, namely, Thy
Defied Heart; and Thou didst command me to extend
my hand - I, perverse creature as I am, seeking
like a Jew for a sign; and then, drawing back Thy
Sacred Heart, with my hand enclosed therein, Thou
saidst: Behold, I
promise to preserve inviolate the gifts which I
have bestowed on thee; however, if I suspend their
effects for a time, by way of dispensation, I
oblige Myself, by the omnipotence, wisdom and love
of the Trinity, in which I live and reign true God
through all ages, to recompense thee afterwards
threefold.
After
these most sweet words, as I withdrew my hand, I
perceived thereon seven golden circlets in the
form of rings, one on each finger; which indicated
that the seven privileges were confirmed to me, as
I had asked. Then Thy loving mercy added these
words: Each time that
you acknowledge your unworthiness of My gifts, and
confide fully in my mercy, each time you acquit
yourself of the debts you owe Me for these
benefits.
O, how
ingenious is Thy Paternity in providing for Thy
children, notwithstanding their vile degeneracy,
and the manner in which they have squandered Thy
substance, falling from innocence, and depriving
Thee of Thy rightful worship! Yet hast Thou
deigned to accept as an offering the reflection I
make on my miseries. Do Thou, the Giver of gifts,
the Source of all good, without whom nothing is
good and nothing is holy - do Thou, for Thy glory
and the salvation of my soul, grant me grace to
know my unworthiness of all Thy gifts, whether
great or little, whether exterior of interior, and
in all things to have the most perfect confidence
in Thy mercy.
Chapter 22
I should be
unjust in recalling the gratuitous gifts which I
have received from Thy charitable clemency, if I
ungratefully passed over what was granted to my
unworthiness, by Thy most loving clemency, during
a certain Lent. For on the second Sunday, as they
sang at Mass before the procession, the response
which commences Vidi Dominum facie ad faciem, a
marvelous and inestimable coruscation illuminated
my soul with the light of Divine revelation, and
it appeared to me that my face was pressed to
another face, as St. Bernard says "Not a form, but
forming; not attracting the bodily eye, but
rejoicing the heart; giving freely gifts of love,
not merely in appearance but in reality."
In this most enchanting vision, Thine
eyes, bright as the solar rays, appeared opposite
to mine, and Thou alone knowest how Thou, my
dearest Lord, affected not only my soul, but even
my body and all my strength. Grant, therefore that
as long as I live I may prove myself Thy humble
and devoted servant.
But even as the rose
is more beautiful and gives forth a sweeter
fragrance in the spring, when it flourishes, than
in the winter, when it is dried up, and, like the
remembrance of a joy that is past, rekindles in us
some pleasure to think of it, so I desire, by some
comparison, to declare what I felt in this most
joyful vision, to extol Thy love, so that if those
in this most joyful vision, to extol Thy love, so
that if those who read this receive similar or
even greater favors, they maybe thereby excited to
acts of thanksgiving; and I myself, by recalling
them frequently will inflame the negligence of my
gratitude beneath the rays of this burning glass.
When Thou didst display Thy most adorable Face -
the source of all blessedness, as I have said,
embracing me, unworthy - a light of inestimable
sweetness passed through Thy Defiled eyes into
mine, passing through my inmost being, operating
in all my members with admirable power and
sweetness: first it appeared as if the marrow were
taken from my bones; then, my flesh and bones
appeared annihilated, so much so, that it seemed
as if my substance no longer had any consciousness
save that Divine Splendor, which shone in so
inexplicable and delightful a manner that it was
the source of the most inestimable pleasure and
joy to my soul.
Oh, what shall I say
further of this most sweet vision, if I may so
term it? For all the eloquence in the world, if
employed daily to persuade me, could never
convince me that I should behold Thee more clearly
even in glory, O my God, the only salvation of my
soul, if Thou hadst not taught me by experience. I
will dare say that if anything human or Divine,
can exceed the blessedness of Thy embrace in this
vision, as I consider, I may truly say that,
unless Thy Divine virtue possessed that person,
the soul would never remain in the body after a
momentary taste of this blessedness.
I
render thanks to Thee through the union of mutual
love which reigns in the adorable Trinity, for
what I have so often experienced, and that Thou
hast deigned to favor me with Thy caresses; so
that while I sat meditating, or reading the
Canonical Hours, or saying the Office of the Dead,
Thou hast often, during a single Psalm, embraced
my soul many times with a kiss, which far
surpasses the most fragrant perfume or the
sweetest honey; and I have often observed Thou
didst look on me favorably in the condescending
caresses Thou didst give to my soul. But though
all these things were filled with an extreme
sweetness, I declare, nevertheless, that nothing
touched me so much as this majestic look of which
I have spoken. For this, and for all other favors,
whose value Thou alone knowest, mayest Thou
rejoice forever in that ineffable sweetness
surpassing all comprehension, which the Divine
Persons communicate mutually to each other in the
bosom of the Divinity!
May a like
thanksgiving - or, if possible, one even greater -
be rendered to Thee, for an extraordinary favor
Thou hast granted me, of which Thou alone knowest,
and which is so great, that I can neither fully
express it by my feeble words, nor altogether pass
it over in silence; and lest I should lose the
remembrance of it through my frailty, I write this
to recall it to my memory and to excite my
gratitude. But, my God, do not allow the meanest
of Thy servants to be guiltily of such an excess
of madness as voluntarily to forget, even for a
single instant, the gratitude which she is bound
to have for the visits with which Thou hast
honored her of Thy pure and gratuitous liberality,
and which she has received for so many years
without meriting them. For, although I am the most
unworthy of all creatures, I declare,
nevertheless, that these visits with which Thou
hast favored me far surpasses anything that could
be merited during this life. I, therefore, implore
Thy sweetest mercy to preserve this gift to me for
Thy glory, with the same goodness with which Thou
hast so liberally bestowed it, without any merit
on my part, so that all creatures may glorify Thee
eternally for it, since the more my unworthiness
is made known, the more resplendently Thy mercy
will shine forth.
Chapter 23
May my soul bless
Thee O Lord God, my Creator, from the inmost
depths of my heart; and let it declare the mercies
with which Thy charity has abounded and
encompassed me, O my sweetest Love! I give thanks,
as far as I am able, to Thine immense mercy; I
praise and glorify the longanimity of Thy
patience, which has borne with me, while I passed
the years of my infancy, childhood, and youth,
even until my twenty- fifth year, in such
blindness and folly, that if Thou hadst not
preserved me, either by the natural dread which
Thou didst give me for evil, and an inclination
for good, or by the reproofs of others, and by so
many aids, and if Thou hast not saved me by Thy
pure mercy, it appears to me that I would have
sinned at every opportunity, either by my
thoughts, my words or my actions, even as if I had
been an infidel in the midst of infidels, and as
if I had not know my God, that Thou wert the
rewarder of good and the avenger of evil, although
Thou didst choose me even from my infancy - that
it - from the age of five years - to live in the
bosom of holy religion, among Thy most faithful
friends.
Although, Thy felicity, O Lord,
can neither increase nor diminish, and Thou
needest not our goods, nevertheless, neither my
negligences nor my faults have diminished Thy
praises, if I may so speak - I who am so justly
bound to glorify Thee continually, with all
creatures, and with all the powers of my soul.
Thou alone knowest what I feel concerning this
matter, and how profoundly my soul is touched by
Thy condescension toward it.
Therefore, O
loving Father, I offer Thee, for the remission of
my sins, all the sufferings which Thy beloved Son
endured, from the hour when He wept on straw in a
manger - all the sufferings of His infancy, the
privations of His childhood, the griefs of His
youth, and the bitter sufferings of His Manhood,
until the hour when He bowed His Head upon the
Cross, and gave up the ghost with a loud cry.
Further more, in satisfaction for all my
negligences, I offer to Thee, O loving Father, the
life of Thy Divine Son, which was so perfect in
every thought, word and action, from the time when
He came down from Thy celestial throne to the
Virgin's womb, and thence came forth into this
world, until the hour when He presented Thy
Fatherly regard His victorious and glorified Body.
And because it is just that the heart
which loves Thee should compassionate all Thy
afflictions, I beseech Thee, for the love of Thy
only Son, and by the virtue of the Holy Spirit,
that whoever, by my request, or from any other
motive, shall desire to supply for my
deficiencies, either during my life or after my
death, for Thy glory, even by a sigh or by a good
work, that Thou wilt receive for them also, and
for the remission of their sins and negligences,
sufferings of Thy Divine Son; and that I may
effectually obtain my request, I conjure thee to
perpetuate my desire to all eternity, and even
when I shall reign, by Thy grace, with Thee in
Heaven.
I adore and bless with
thanksgiving, and with all humility, Thy ineffable
charity, O Father of mercies, by which,
notwithstanding the disorders of my life, Thou
hast had thoughts of peace towards me, and not of
severity, overwhelming me with the greatness and
multitude of Thy benefits, even as if I had led
the life of an angel among men. Thou didst
commence this work in me during Advent, before I
had attained my twenty- fifth year, and
consummated it on the Epiphany by a certain fear,
by which I was so agitated that I began to have
distaste for all the pleasures of youth, so that
thus my heart became in some sort prepared to
receive Thee.
Having entered on my twenty-
sixth year, the second feria before the Feast of
the Purification, at the close of day, after
Compline, Thou Lord, Who art the true Light
shining in darkness - Thou didst put an end to my
spiritual obscurity and darkness, and to my
youthful vanities. For at this time Thou didst
give me evident tokens of Thine amazing charity
and of Thine amiable presence; and Thou didst
teach me, by a loving reconciliation, to know Thee
and to love Thee; and having made me enter into my
interior, which was until then unknown to me, Thou
didst act toward me in marvelous and hidden ways,
so that thou didst seem to take the same delight
in dwelling in my soul as a friend in living with
his friend or a bridegroom with his bride.
Thou didst visit me, then, at different
times, and in different ways, to preserve this
commerce of charity; but especially on the Vigil
of the Annunciation, and before the Ascension,
commencing Thy work on that day in the morning,
and completing it after Compline, by granting me
that favor which ought to be a subject of
admiration and reverence to all creatures -
namely, that from that hour until now I never
found Thee absent from my heart for a single
instant when I entered therein, except once, when
Thou wert absent for eleven days.
As I
cannot express by my words either the number or
the value of gifts Thou hast bestowed on me,
permit me, O Giver of gifts, to offer Thee in
thanksgiving a sacrifice of joy in a spirit if
humility, especially for having prepared a
dwelling place in my heart, according to Thy
desire and mine; so that I have neither heard nor
read anything of the Temple of Solomon or the
palace of Assuerus which seemed to me to be
preferable to the delights which, thanks to Thy
grace, have been placed in me, and which Thou hast
permitted my unworthiness to share with Thee, as a
queen with the king. But there are two favors
which I especially esteem. The first is that Thou
hast imprinted on my heart the glorious marks of
thy saving Wounds, and that Thou hast truly and
deeply pierced this same heart with the wound of
Thy love; so that, even if Thou hadst Thou never
granted me a greater consolation, either
exteriorly or interiorly, Thou hast conferred such
happiness on me by these two alone, that even if I
lived for a thousand years, I should find each
hour more consolation, thanksgiving and
instruction than I could possibly contain.
Besides these things, Thou hast also
granted me Thy secret friendship, by opening the
sacred ark of Thy Divinity - I mean Thy Deified
Heart - to me in so many manners, as to be the
source of all my happiness, some times imparting
it freely, sometimes as a special mark of our
mutual friendship, exchanging it for mine. Thou
hast also revealed to me hidden mysteries
concerning Thy judgments and Thy beatitudes; and
Thou hast so often melted my soul by Thy loving
caresses, that if I did not know the abyss of Thy
overflowing condescension, I should be amazed were
I told that even Thy Blessed Mother, who reigns
with Thee in Heaven, had been chosen to receive
such extraordinary marks of tenderness and
affection.
By all these marks of Thy
gentle love Thou hast led me to a salutary
knowledge of my faults, and at the same time
spared my shame with so much charity, that -
pardon me for saying it - it would seem as if the
loss of half Thy kingdom were less to Thee than to
cause me a momentary confusion for my
imperfections. Therefore, in order to make them
known to me, Thou didst use this wise expedient -
discovering to me the defects which displeased
Thee in others, and of which, when I entered into
myself, I found I was more guilty than they were,
although Thou didst not give me the least sign of
having perceived them in me.
Further, Thou
hast won my soul by Thy faithful promises of
benefits at my death and after it; and if I had
only obtained this favor from Thee, it would be
sufficient to fill my heart with the most lively
hope and desire. But the ocean of Thy infinite
mercy was not yet exhausted, for Thou hast heard
the frequent prayers which I addressed to Thee for
sinners for their souls, or for other
considerations; and so great have been these
favors, that I have not yet found one to whom I
could discover them, as I know them myself, on
account of the pusillanimity of the human heart,
which is slow of belief. To crown all these
benefits, Thou hast given me Thy sweetest Mother,
the Blessed Virgin, for my advocate, and Thou hast
lovingly recommended me to her many times with the
same ardor as a faithful bridegroom would
recommend his beloved bride to his own mother.
Thou hast also often sent me the princes of Thy
court to minister to me, not only from the choirs
of Angels and Archangels, but even those of higher
rank, as Thy kindness, my God, judged it expedient
for my advancement in spiritual excerises. But
when, for my soul's good, Thou hast deprived me
for a time of some of Thy delights, I have yielded
to a weak and shameful ingratitude, and have
forgotten Thy gifts, as if they had been of no
benefit to me; and if by Thy grace I discovered
what I had lost, and asked Thee to restore it, or
grant me some other favor, Thou didst immediately
give me all, as if it had been a deposit which I
had entrusted to Thy keeping.
Besides
these favors, Thou didst grant me others of the
utmost value, especially on the day of Thy
Nativity, the Sunday Esto mihi; and also another
Sunday after Pentecost Thou didst elevate me, or
rather Thou didst ravish me, to so close a union
with Thyself, that I marvel more than at a miracle
how I lived since then as a creature among
creatures, and am even more amazed and even
horrified, that I have not amended my faults as I
was bound to do. Nevertheless, the fountain of Thy
mercy has not dried up for me, O Jesus, of all
lovers the most loving - or rather, the only One
who loves the ungrateful truly and disinterested.
For after a time, having forgotten my vileness,
unworthy that I am, and having begun to disrelish
those things which are the joy and praise of
Heaven and earth - if it were only because an
infinite God had abased Himself unreservedly
toward a vile and abject worm - Thou, the Giver,
Renovator and Preserver of every good - Thou didst
arouse me from my torpor and excite me to
gratitude by revealing to a certain person, who
was very devout to Thee and familiar with Thee,
some particulars of the gifts which Thou hast
bestowed on me, which they could not have known by
human means, since I had not revealed them to any
human being, so that I heard from their lips what
was only known to my secret heart.
As I
recall these words and others, the glory of which
is due to Thee alone, I will sing a canticle on a
harmonious instrument, which is none other than
Thy Divine Heart, by the virtue of the Spirit of
consolation. Eternal Father, may all that is in
Heaven, on earth or in the deep - may all things
which have been, which are, or which will be -
render Thee thanks and praise! Even as gold shines
most clearly when surrounded by various colors -
even as black appears darker by contrast with them
- so is the blackness of my ungrateful life, when
compared with the splendor of the Divine benefits
so abundantly bestowed on me. For Thou couldst not
grant any favors that were not commensurate with
Thy royal liberality, I have only received them in
my boorish ignorance, and as an unfortunate abuser
of Thy graces. This Thou didst, as it were,
dissimulate by an effect of Thy natural clemency,
so that it appeared as if Thou never didst more
for me than when I did least for Thee. And when
Thou didst seek hospitality in my poor dwelling -
Thou, Who reposest in the loving bosom of Thy
celestial Father - I have been so negligent and so
careless in entertaining Thee, that I should even
from natural humanity, have been bound to tend a
leper with more care who had asked a shelter under
my roof after overwhelming me with outrages and
injuries. Far, O Lord, Who adorned the stars with
beauty - far from recognizing the graces Thou
didst bestow on me - whether by filling me with
interior consolation, or by imprinting on me Thy
sacred Wounds, or by revealing to me Thy secrets,
and even those of Thy friends, or by giving me
marks of Thy friendship and tenderness greater
than could have been found had the earth been
traversed from east to west - I have been so
ungrateful as to outrage Thee by despising these
things, by seeking strange pleasures, and by
preferring the bitterness of exterior things to
the sweetness of Thy celestial manna. I have
distrusted Thy promises, O God of truth, as if
Thou wert a man who could lie, or fail in Thy
fidelity!
Alas! I have also offended the
goodness with which Thou hast heard my unworthy
prayers so favorably by hardening my heart against
Thy Will, and as I ought to declare with tears in
my eyes, sometimes pretending not to understand
Thy Will, lest the reproaches of my conscience
should oblige me to obey it.
I have also
despised the aid of Thy most glorious Mother, and
that of the blessed spirits whom Thou hast sent to
me; and I have been so unhappy as to prove an
obstacle even to my earthly friends, on whom I
have leaned, instead of relying on Thee alone; and
far from increasing my gratitude and my vigilance
over my faults, on seeing that Thy charity
continued Thy favors, notwithstanding my
negligence, I, on the contrary, returned Thee evil
for good, like a tyrant, or rather like a demon,
and had the hardihood to live even more
carelessly,
But my greatest fault is, that
after the incredible union which I have had with
Thee, and which is known to Thee alone, I have not
feared to sully my soul again with the same
defects, which Thou hast permitted to continue in
me in order that I might conquer them, and thus
obtain greater glory with Thee in Heaven. I have
sinned also, in that when Thou didst discover to
my friends Thy hidden favors, to excite my
gratitude, I failed in accomplishing Thy designs
therein, by rejoicing in a human manner, and
neglecting to correspond with Thy designs by the
duty of gratitude.
And now, O adorable
Creator of my soul, permit the groans of my heart
to rise even to Heaven in expiation of all these
faults, and of others which Thou mayest yet bring
to my recollection. Accept my grief for the
immense number of offenses which I have committed
against the nobleness of Thy Divine goodness. I
offer it to Thee, with all the gratitude and all
the reverence which Thou hast enabled me, for all
in Heaven, on earth and in the deep, through the
merit of Thy beloved Son, and by the power of the
Holy Spirit.
Since, then, I am altogether
incapable of producing worthy fruits of penance I
implore Thy mercy, O my sweetest Love, to inspire
those hearts which have sufficient fidelity and
zeal to appease Thee by a sacrifice of
propitiation, to repair for my defects by their
signs, their prayers, and other good works, and to
pay the debt of praise which I owe to Thee alone.
O Lord my God, because, as Thou seest the bottom
of my heart, Thou knowest that I have only written
these things from a pure love of Thy glory, in
order that many who shall read them after my death
may be touched by Thy sweetness and clemency,
considering the greatness of Thy love, which has
abased itself so low for the salvation of mankind
as to permit such numerous and precious gifts to
be abused, as I, alas, have abused them!
But I give thanks with all my might, O
Lord, my Creator and re- Creator, to Thine
infinite mercy, that from the abyss of Thy
overflowing goodness, Thou hast made known to me
that whosoever shall remember me as I have said
above, for Thy glory, either by praying for
sinners, or by giving thanks for the elect, or by
any other good works, shall not leave this world
until Thou has granted him the grace to become
pleasing to Thee, and so order his heart that Thou
mayest find joy and pleasure therein. For which
may eternal praise be given to Thee which shall
return without ceasing to the increased Love
whence it proceeded.
Chapter
24
Conclusion of the Book.
Behold O loving
Lord, I offer Thee the talent of Thy condescending
intimacy, which Thou hast confided to me, vile
creature that I am. I have traded with it for love
of Thy love in that which I have written, or which
I may yet write. And I can boldly declare, by Thy
grace, that I have had no other motive in saying
or writing these things, except that of obeying
Thy Will, of promoting Thy glory and of zeal for
the salvation of souls. I desire, therefore, that
all should praise Thee and give Thee thanks, that
my unworthiness has not caused Thee to withdraw
Thy mercy from me. I desire also that Thou
shouldst be praised for those who, reading these
things, are charmed with the sweetness of Thy
charity, and inwardly drawn to desire the same;
and also for those who, studying them as students,
commence with the alphabet, and attain to
philosophy - thus being led by the perusal of
these things, as by pictures and images, to search
for the hidden manna, which increases the hunger
of those who partake of it, and which is not found
in corporal substances.
Therefore, since
Thou, the Almighty Dispenser of all good things,
dost vouchsafe to pasture us during our exile
until "beholding the glory of the Lord with open
face are transformed into the same image from the
glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord".
(2Cor, 3:18); meanwhile according to Thy faithful
promises and the humble desire of my heart, grant,
I beseech Thee, to all who read these writings
with humility, the peace of Thy love, compassion
for my miseries, and a salutary compunction for
their furtherance in perfection, so that,
elevating their hearts toward Thee with burning
love, they may be like so many golden censers
whose sweet odors shall abundantly supply all my
negligence and ingratitude. Amen.
End Book 2
Continued
>>>>
"Typed
by:
Sue Burton, Sacred
Heart Publications UK.
@Copy right Sue
Burton & Marianne Eichhorn.
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